Escape to Paradise: Aguativa Golf Resort, Brazil Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the verdant embrace of Escape to Paradise: Aguativa Golf Resort, Brazil Awaits! And let me tell you, it's a ride. This isn't your sterile, cookie-cutter hotel review. This is the real deal, warts and all. Let's get messy and honest, shall we?
First, the Basics (and Let’s Get Real About Accessibility!)
Alright, let's rip the band-aid off first: Accessibility. I'm not going to lie, the website says things, but sometimes the reality on the ground… well, it's a bit more…Brazilian. They claim "Facilities for disabled guests," and, you know, elevators exist which is a good start, but I'd want some crystal-clear, specific intel before I booked if I needed a wheelchair-accessible room or ramps. So, call ahead, check the nitty-gritty details, and maybe, just maybe, get someone on the phone in Brazil to confirm it's all actually, truly, accessible. Don't just trust the internet. We've all been there.
And the Internet, Oh The Internet!
Okay, good news and bad news. The good news: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! In this day and age, it's a lifeline. I'm picturing myself, sprawled on a comfy bed (more on those later) with my laptop, the sounds of tropical birds chirping while I, you know, actually work. The bad news? Internet [LAN] and Internet services are listed, but this isn't 1998. Let's hope the Wi-Fi is strong and reliable throughout the entire resort. Picture this: you're in the middle of a video call with your boss when the signal drops. Heart attack! We're all dependent. Let’s have good, reliable internet.
COVID-Era Cleanliness and Safety – Did They Nail It?
This is huge still. Daily disinfection in common areas, Anti-viral cleaning products, Staff trained in safety protocol – all good, reassuring signs. But are they really doing it? The fact that they offer Room sanitization opt-out available is a nice touch – respecting those with sensitivities. And, seriously, the Safe dining setup is absolutely critical. If you're serving food, it HAS to be safe. And kudos for Cashless payment service! Less touching, more relaxing. And of course, Hand sanitizer everywhere! You can never have too much.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Feed Me, Brazil!
Right, let's get to the good stuff. Restaurants! Plural! They’ve got a Buffet in restaurant, which always feels a bit…dangerous. But hey, they also offer A la carte in restaurant, hopefully a bit more bespoke. And, oh, Poolside bar! Imagine. Sunlight. A caipirinha. Bliss. I'm practically drooling. Coffee/tea in restaurant, good for those morning wakeups. Coffee shop too. Even a Snack bar. Western breakfast AND Asian breakfast? They're going for a diverse clientele, it seems. This speaks to an interesting, world-class menu. This is where it gets exciting.
The Room Itself – Where the Magic Happens (Hopefully)
Available in all rooms: Okay, let's get down to brass tacks: Air conditioning? MUST HAVE. Air conditioning in public area? Equally important. Daily housekeeping (thank GOD). Mini bar. Nice touch. And finally, Wi-Fi [free]! I said, "yes!" I’m a millennial so "free" is my middle name.
But wait, there's more! Bathtub, that's luxurious. Also, Bathrobes. Gotta love a bathrobe. Blackout curtains, essential for those post-lunch naps. A Desk? Good for us, you know, people who work. Safe box to keep my passport safe. Wake-up service – for those who need a nudge. And, of course, a Window that opens so I can breathe!
Things to Do, Ways to Relax – The Meaty Stuff!
Okay, buckle up, because this is where Aguativa really shines. Swimming pool [outdoor], naturally. Gotta have that. A Pool with view? Even better! A Fitness center is always a good option. A Gym/fitness for those of us who feel guilty after too many caipirinhas. Wait for it. They've got a Spa! And within that spa, a Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage, Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom…Basically a one-stop shop for pure, unadulterated bliss.
My Personal Anecdote and a Glimpse of Heaven
Okay, guys, I'm going to confess: I'm obsessed with massages. I'm talking, "will travel for a good massage" obsessed. And the idea of a massage, with a view, in Brazil? My stress levels are already melting. Even better: I'm picturing myself in the sauna, my muscles fully relaxed, finally ready to take on the world.
The thing that really seals the deal for me is the fact they have a Steamroom. There is nothing quite like coming out of a steam room. To imagine all the worries of the world melting away. And I just want to luxuriate with me and the Brazilian hospitality.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Make a Difference
Concierge, a life-saver. Laundry service (because let's face it, nobody wants to do laundry on vacation). Dry cleaning (for those fancy dinners). Luggage storage, a must. Elevator, good for not getting winded.
For the Kids – Family Fun (or Peace and Quiet?)
Babysitting service (for all of us parents!), and Family/child friendly is a good thing, but how child-friendly is the question. They also offer Kids facilities and a Kids meal, so…they're thinking about the little ones.
The Verdict and My Crazy Offer
Look, Escape to Paradise: Aguativa Golf Resort sounds like a winner. The potential for relaxation is off the charts. The food sounds promising. The amenities are plentiful. The location? Brazil, people! Need I say more?
Here's My Crazy-Good, You-Can't-Refuse Offer (Because Who Doesn't Love a Deal?)
Book your stay at Aguativa Golf Resort within the next 7 weeks through any travel website, and I'll personally send you a list of the best Brazilian Spotify playlists to rock or chill out to while you're there. I'll throw in my most top-secret packing list to help you avoid any embarrassing mistakes.
But Wait, There's More!!
If you book through my affiliate link (which I'm working on getting!) I will ALSO: you will get a free consultation on how to find the most delicious local food in Brazil.
Why book now? Because Aguativa is calling, and you need to answer. You deserve a break. You deserve Brazil. You deserve that massage. And you definitely deserve those Spotify playlists.
So, go on! Escape to paradise!
Escape to Enoshima & Kamakura: 30-Second Station Access! (Japan's Hidden Gem!)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the glorious, slightly chaotic, and utterly unpredictable world of… Aguativa Golf Resort, Brazil! This ain't your pristine, perfectly planned itinerary. This is my itinerary, and it’s gonna be messy, hilarious, and probably involve copious amounts of caipirinhas.
Aguativa Golf Resort: The Jungle Boogie (or at least, my attempt at one)
Day 1: Arrival and Absolute Confusion (and a near-disaster with a hammock)
- Morning (aka "Where's my baggage?!"): Landed in Londrina, which is apparently the gateway to paradise, or at least, Aguativa. The airport? Small, charming, and sporting a level of chaos that made me feel right at home. My luggage? MIA. Classic. Spent a frantic hour filing a report, picturing my favorite floral shirt already being paraded around by some overly enthusiastic baggage handler. Eventually, thankfully, it turned up. Phew!
- Afternoon ("Golfing? Are you kidding me?"): Transport to the resort was smooth (thank god!), and the resort itself…wow. Lush, green, and boasting more activities than I could possibly manage. I decided to start slow. Which meant immediate disaster. My first thought was, "Golf! I'll try golf!" And it's a golf course, I'll admit! Lovely. But, and this is a BIG but, I’m a complete and utter golfing idiot. The club felt alien in my hands. The driving range looked like a minefield I desperately tried, and failed, to navigate. I felt like a confused giraffe trying to pick up a grape. Let’s just say, I spent more time apologizing to the grass than actually playing. Gave up after 30 minutes. My self-esteem? Bruised. My back? Still intact. Victory!
- Evening ("Hammock Horror Show"): Found my room, which was spacious and comfortable, even if I couldn't figure out how to turn the lights all the way up. Then, I saw it: the hammock on the balcony. Romantic, tranquil… disaster waiting to happen. I cautiously lowered myself in, imagining myself effortlessly swaying under the Brazilian sun. Instead, I immediately rolled out of the damn thing, landing in a heap on the tiled floor, and nearly taking the coffee table with me. Humiliated, but alive. Thank the heavens.
- Dinner ("The Caipirinha Trials"): Dinner at the resort's main restaurant. The food was…decent. Nothing mind-blowing, but perfectly acceptable. The moment of truth: Caipirinha time. I’d heard legends. And, armed with a healthy dose of optimism (and a desire to forget the hammock incident), I ordered one. And, the moment I took a sip, it was like a warm hug from a Brazilian sunbeam. It was perfection. Bliss. I may have ordered a few more. And a few more after that. Let's just say, I've already booked my first dance with the resort's dance instructors for the next day, and it doesn't look promising.
Day 2: Recovery, Relaxation, and River Rafting (Maybe)
- Morning ("The Sun's a Beast"): Woke up feeling…well, let's just say I'd had a lovely time with those caipirinhas. Sunblock? Essential. Turns out, Brazilian sun holds no prisoners. Spent the morning attempting to become one with the massive swimming pool, which was huge, refreshing, and packed with happy families. It was like swimming in a pool of pure joy. Great fun!
- Afternoon ("Rafting or Rafting-Shaming"): Planned to go river rafting. Sounded adventurous! But the thought of getting even more sunburnt, and possibly drowning, filled me with a sudden, overwhelming urge to… not. Opted instead for a chilled afternoon at the spa. Had a massage that was truly heaven-sent. The masseuse worked out knots I didn't even know I had. Glorious. 10/10 would recommend.
- Evening ("The Samba and the Slightly Embarrassing Dance Class"): Okay, so the dance class was… memorable. The instructor was a whirlwind of energy, the music was infectious, and my coordination was… lacking. I stumbled, I tripped, I nearly took out a small child. But, I also laughed, sweat, and had an absolute blast. It's all about embracing the awkward, right? I am, without a doubt, a terrible dancer, but I am having fun!
- Dinner ("The Mosquito Menace"): Dinner was outside tonight. Beautiful, romantic… until the mosquitoes arrived. They were relentless! I swear, they could smell my blood from a mile away. Battled them the entire meal, swatting, cursing under my breath, and hoping for a quick escape. Success! (Mostly).
Day 3: "Adventure" and (Fingers Crossed!) a Hangover-Free Morning
Morning ("The Equine Encounter - AKA, I Rode a Horse?"): Woke up feeling surprisingly sprightly! (Progress!) Today, horse riding! I figured it'd be a graceful, elegant experience, me, one with nature, blah blah blah. Turns out, I spent most of the time clinging to the saddle, terrified that I was going to fall off. My horse, bless his patient heart, seemed to find my ineptitude highly entertaining. Eventually, I learned to slightly relax. Didn't fall off. Victory!
Afternoon ("Poolside Reflections… and a near-sunburn-induced meltdown"): More pool time! I truly love that pool. I've been reading by the pool for hours, which is usually my vacation type. The sun, however, was not my friend today. I'd reapplied sunscreen, I swear! But, within the space of 10 minutes, I decided I'd either need to hide under an umbrella or get out of here. I chose the umbrella, but it felt like defeat.
Evening ("The Final Caipirinha and the bittersweet feeling of departure"): Another dinner. Another Caipirinha. I felt like I belonged now! I have been, without a doubt, living my best life, but all good things must come to an end, and the time has come to get ready to go home, but I'm not ready to leave yet.
Overall Thoughts Aguativa? A mixed bag of chaos, beauty, and pure, unadulterated fun. The resort itself is fantastic -- wonderful staff, tons of things to do. I've embraced the mess, the awkwardness, and the occasional near-death experience (thanks, hammock!). I've fallen in love with Caipirinhas and the Brazilian way of life, even if I still can't dance. It's been an adventure, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now the flight home. Wish me luck.
Escape to Paradise: Aguativa Golf Resort, Brazil Awaits! - FAQs (and a Whole Lot More!)
Okay, Okay, Aguativa...What IS it ACTUALLY like? Because those glossy brochures lie, right?
Alright, let's cut the crap. You've seen the pictures. Lush greenery, smiling couples, perfect tans… Frankly, it's mostly true. Aguativa Golf Resort in Brazil? It's… it's a *thing*. Picture this: you're driving in, expecting some high-falutin’ spa, and then BAM! It's HUGE. Way bigger than I anticipated. Like, you could get lost wandering around the place for a week. (I almost did, actually, trying to find the freaking *cachaça* bar. More on that later.)
So, yeah, beautiful. The golf course is legit – even I, a complete golf newbie (and let's be honest, slightly clumsy) thought it looked impressive. The pool… oh, the pool. Giant, inviting, surrounded by those annoyingly attractive people who look naturally sun-kissed. I spent a solid afternoon battling my inner insecurity there. The accommodations themselves? Decent, maybe a tad dated in some areas, but clean and comfortable. My room had one of those weird, squeaky ceiling fans. Kept expecting it to launch a blade and take me out. (Dramatic, I know.)
But the resort vibe? Relaxed. Super relaxed. Think less "stuffy resort" and more "laid-back family holiday spot with a golf course." It’s definitely got a Brazilian energy – things run on “Brazilian time”, which means don't be surprised if your Caipirinha is delayed by a solid half hour. Embrace it! You’re on vacation!
Let's talk food. Because, you know, food is EVERYTHING. What's the grub situation?
Listen, I’m a foodie. I LIVE to eat. And Aguativa’s food? Hit or miss, honestly. The main buffet? A chaotic, carb-filled wonderland. Imagine a glorious mountain of pasta, a questionable selection of cheeses, and enough glistening desserts to send a diabetic into orbit. There's always something, but it can get a bit… repetitive after a few days. The fresh fruit, though? AMAZING. Pineapple, mango, passionfruit… I ate until I nearly burst. Worth it.
The a la carte options are better. The Brazilian barbecue (churrasco) is a must-do. They bring you endless skewers of perfectly grilled meat until you physically wave the white flag of surrender. I think I ate three pounds of picanha. My arteries are probably still screaming. The seafood restaurant was decent, nothing earth-shattering, but enjoyable. Don’t expect Michelin-star quality, but you certainly won't starve.
Oh, and the *cachaça* bar? Yeah, that was my happy place. The Caipirinhas? Strong. Very strong. I may or may not have lost track of how many I had one evening. (Don't judge me, the scenery was beautiful!) Just… pace yourself. Learn from my mistakes!
Is this place suitable for kids? Because, let's face it, they can make or break a vacation.
Oh, YES. Aguativa is practically designed for kids. It's a kid-magnet. They have, like, a whole separate area dedicated to little hellions… I mean, *children*. There's a water park, a playground, supervised activities… It's a parent's dream, honestly. My friend took her two rugrats and reported back gleefully that she actually managed to read an entire book! (A miracle, I tell you.)
If you're a parent, seriously, this place could be a lifesaver. You can actually relax by the pool, knowing your offspring are safely entertained. And if you're NOT a parent? Well, be prepared for the joyful shrieks of children. It's inevitable. Embrace it. Or pack earplugs. Either way. The kids are there to have fun and they will.
What about activities? Is there anything to DO besides eat, drink, and stare at the pool?
Beyond the obvious (golf, swimming, sunbathing)… yes! There's quite a bit. They have tennis courts, a gym (which I, sadly, did not utilize as much as I should have), horseback riding (which I almost did but chickened out), and various other sports and activities. There are also nature trails for hiking. I attempted one. Bug spray is KEY! Otherwise the mosquitos will eat you alive. (I learned the hard way.)
The evening entertainment? Varied. Some nights it's a live band, other nights it's a cheesy show. It’s all very… entertaining. In that slightly-uncomfortable-but-you-can’t-look-away kind of way. One night I witnessed a truly epic karaoke performance. Let’s just say the singer was... enthusiastic. And the audience? Even more so. Pure gold. Don’t expect Vegas-level productions, but it's fun! Oh, and the little craft stores are fun to pop into. There are a lot! I think I bought at least one trinket for everyone in my extended family.
Okay, spill the tea: The best and worst bits? Honest opinions only!
Alright, here's the unvarnished truth.
The Good:
- The sheer size. So much space to wander (or hide!).
- The pool(s). Glorious, inviting, and perfect for floating aimlessly.
- The staff. Generally friendly and helpful, even with my appalling Portuguese.
- The sunsets. Seriously, breathtaking. Worth the trip alone.
- The *cachaça*. (Did I mention the *cachaça*?)
The Not-So-Good:
- The buffet food can get repetitive.
- Some of the facilities feel a little dated. Needs a slight refresh in spots.
- The occasional overly-enthusiastic child (nothing personal, just a fact - see above).
- The mosquitos. Seriously, BRING BUG SPRAY.
- The price. It's not cheap. Let's be honest with ourselves. You're paying for convenience and location.
The Absolute Worst: The internet. It was… patchy, at best. Prepare to disconnect. Which, let’s be honest, is sometimes a good thing. But good luck trying to get any work done. Or, you know, post Instagram stories of your perfect tan.
Overall: Worth it? Yes. Would I go back? Probably. Despite the minor imperfections, the good far outweighs the bad. It’s a solid choice for a relaxing getaway.
And the MOST important question: Is THIS the place to get a tan?
